Cami and Emma were planning Emma's recent baptism:
Cami: "You need to choose someone to give a talk at your baptism. How about Auntie Dawn?"
Emma: "Dawn doesn't want to give a talk."
Cami: "It is a short talk, only 2 minutes."
Emma: "Dawn really doesn't want to give a talk!"
I love that Emma knows me SO well...but I probably would have said no anyway.
At the daycare there is this little girl who cracks me up...every single day:
Me: "Go put your purse in your cubby!" (this was the 5th time in a row I told her to do that.)
She ran off but then came back with her purse still in her hand
Little Girl: "I can't reach my cubby."
Me: "Then go hang it on the hook."
She ran off again...but still came back with her purse
Little Girl: "What is a hook?"
Me: "It is the little silver thing under your cubby."
She ran off again...this time she came back without her purse
Little Girl: "Teacher!! I found the hookers!!"
(I did manage to keep the prostitute joke in my head...but it wasn't easy.)
Another day with the same little girl:
Little Girl: "Teacher. Me underwears is stick in me bum." She was simultaneously picking said underwears out of said bum
Me: "Oh no. Sorry to hear about that."
Little Boy: "Sometimes me underwears stick in me swimming suit and get me poop out."
Me: I really don't think I responded....I didn't know how to.
A different little girl:
Little Girl: Throws a toy zebra and toy horse as hard as she can against the floor.
Me: "Why did you do that to the toys?"
Little Girl: "The horses are in time out!" (said very angrily)
Me: "Why are they in time out?"
Little Girl: "They were hitting! They are so naughty!"
Me: "Sounds good!"
Just now:
Brent: "James, what did you learn at church?"
James: "Me a child of God."
Me: "Is mama a child of God?"
James: "Yeah."
Me: "Is dada a child of God?"
James: "Yeah."
Me: "Is grandma a child of God?"
James: "Yeah."
Me: "Am I a child of God?"
Brent: (interrupting as usual) "No. Dawn is the spawn of the other side."
Me: "Way to go Brent...he is going to remember that."
Me: "Lindsay, guess what your husband taught your child...watch."
Me: "James, is Dawn a child of God?"
James: "Nope."
