Sunday, August 8, 2010

For Real

I swear these quotes are real! Kids are so funny...please to enjoy.

Cami and Emma were planning Emma's recent baptism:

Cami: "You need to choose someone to give a talk at your baptism. How about Auntie Dawn?"

Emma: "Dawn doesn't want to give a talk."

Cami: "It is a short talk, only 2 minutes."

Emma: "Dawn really doesn't want to give a talk!"

I love that Emma knows me SO well...but I probably would have said no anyway.


At the daycare there is this little girl who cracks me up...every single day:

Me: "Go put your purse in your cubby!" (this was the 5th time in a row I told her to do that.)

She ran off but then came back with her purse still in her hand

Little Girl: "I can't reach my cubby."

Me: "Then go hang it on the hook."

She ran off again...but still came back with her purse

Little Girl: "What is a hook?"

Me: "It is the little silver thing under your cubby."

She ran off again...this time she came back without her purse

Little Girl: "Teacher!! I found the hookers!!"

(I did manage to keep the prostitute joke in my head...but it wasn't easy.)

Another day with the same little girl:

Little Girl: "Teacher. Me underwears is stick in me bum." She was simultaneously picking said underwears out of said bum

Me: "Oh no. Sorry to hear about that."

Little Boy: "Sometimes me underwears stick in me swimming suit and get me poop out."

Me: I really don't think I responded....I didn't know how to.

Bold
A different little girl:

Little Girl: Throws a toy zebra and toy horse as hard as she can against the floor.

Me: "Why did you do that to the toys?"

Little Girl: "The horses are in time out!" (said very angrily)

Me: "Why are they in time out?"

Little Girl: "They were hitting! They are so naughty!"

Me: "Sounds good!"

Just now:

Brent: "James, what did you learn at church?"

James: "Me a child of God."

Me: "Is mama a child of God?"

James: "Yeah."

Me: "Is dada a child of God?"

James: "Yeah."

Me: "Is grandma a child of God?"

James: "Yeah."

Me: "Am I a child of God?"

Brent: (interrupting as usual) "No. Dawn is the spawn of the other side."

Me: "Way to go Brent...he is going to remember that."

Me: "Lindsay, guess what your husband taught your child...watch."

Me: "James, is Dawn a child of God?"

James: "Nope."