"Dreaming"

When I woke up this morning I was surprised to find myself dressed. Yes. Dressed. I was not wearing the cozy pajamas I had put on before climbing into my bed. Not anymore. I was wearing an entire outfit (layers of shirts, bra, socks, jeans and all). I had set out my clothes the night before (because I had to make sure I had clean ones...not because I am crazy) and when I woke up I was wearing them. The problem is that I don't actually remember getting dressed.
As the day progressed I began to slowly remember fragments of a "dream" I had last night. I remember "dreaming" that I was afraid that there would be some sort of catastrophe, like a fire or an earthquake or something, while I slept. (You know the kind of thing where you run outside in whatever you are wearing and you're screaming, and all your random neighbors are doing the same thing.) And so in my "dream" I put on some clothes so I would bot be embarrassed about running outside in the early hours of the morning in only my pajamas.
This is kinda creepy. But even creepier is that this is not the first weird experience like this in recent history.
About a week ago I "dreamed" that there was a giant spider on my ceiling and I was not okay with that so I jumped out of bed and screamed at someone else to "check it." (I'm not sure who I was talking to or what "checking it" was going to accomplish....) then I carefully wrapped a blanket tightly around me because, obviously, it would protect me from the giant spider. The next morning I awoke tightly tangled up in my blanket and very confused (as I usually cannot sleep if I am tucked in tightly) and while talking to Tera realized that I had actually screamed during the night (oops...sorry.)
A month or so ago I "dreamed" that a colony (or is it a school) of spiders was using my blanket , a corner of which was dangling off my bed, as a means to climb up into my bed and climb all over me (shiver of grossness). I threw the blanket, all 3 of my pillows, and another blanket (all of which I feared were spider contaminated) as far away from the bed as possible, then promptly shook out my hair over the side of the bed, you know just to make sure there weren't any stray spiders in there. At some later point I woke up uncomfortable and cold. Because my neck was bent at a strange angle with my head half hanging off the bed, and all my pillows and blankets were in a heap on the floor.
I really don't know what to make of these "episodes." Should I see a therapist... because I clearly have fear issues? Or a sleep specialist....because I clearly have sleep issues? Or maybe even a sales person at Best Buy....because clearly if I filmed my self during the sleeping hours it would be amusing to watch during the waking hours.

Help.

Big Trouble

We are now 3 weeks into preschool and I have obviously spent a lot of time talking about the importance of listening to Miss Dawn (my favorite and all inclusive rule!) I felt that my message was clear and that I was getting said message through....but now I don't know. This is the picture a little girl drew last week....

(the spider is top center and the 'people' is bottom left corner)

In case you can't read what she told me it goes a little like this:

"It's a big spider and he's going to try to eat that people; 'cause she is not listening to Miss Dawn." About the item in the bottom right corner she told me; "It's a big ball of web stuff to catch the people."

Apparently I need to go back to the drawing board to find a new way to deliver my message, ideally one where the kids don't hear "listen to Miss Dawn or get eaten by a big spider" when I talk.

So Big

I think one of my favorite things about preschool is when these little 4 year-olds say something so grownup....

Little Girl: "Um, that's awkward!" (said to her friend as they played)
Miss Dawn: "What is awkward?"
Little Girl: "I don't know."
Miss Dawn: "Well, what does 'awkward' mean?"
Little Girl: "So, when I accidentally punched my friend in the face...that was awkward."
Miss Dawn: "Good to know. By the way...how do you accidentally punch someone in the face?"
Little Girl: No Answer. Turns back to playing.

Little Boy: "That is RIDICULOUS!" (said to a friend at snack time)
Miss Dawn: "What does ridiculous mean?"
Little Boy: "It means what that's what my dad says when you hit your brother."
Miss Dawn: "Well, I guess we probably shouldn't hit our brothers."
Little Boy: "I guess." (very non-committal)

I had just read the class a poem called "I'm Glad I'm Me."

Little Girl: "I mean, I'm glad that I am me....but I would be OK if I was one of those girls who gets out of cars."
Miss Dawn: "What? What girls are you talking about?"
Little Girl: "Oh you know! The ones who get out of the back of those cars."
Miss Dawn: (magical moment of understanding) "Do you mean famous/rich girls who get out of Limos?"
Little Girl: "Yeah! I remember that's what they are called. And those girls always wear pretty clothes."
Miss Dawn: "I must say that I too would be 'OK' if I was one of 'those girls'."

My New Job

During some recent self-reflection time about what talents I do have (not many) and what talents I don't have (quite numerous) I had a personal realization....I have a talent that I am sadly wasting. I am, of course, referring to my incredible skills of rationalization! I do believe that I was born with a natural inclination towards rationalizing, but I have spent countless hours practicing and honing my skills. So naturally, I began to wonder how best to more fully utilize my talents.....and (drum roll please) I am now offering my services as a "personal-rationalization-coach!"

Don't want to go to your in-laws family party but think you might "offend" someone? Call me.
Want to watch your favorite guilty pleasure but worry that it is "inappropriate"? Call me.
Don't want to clean your house but feel like others will call you"lazy"? Call me.
Want to buy a shirt but you think you "can't afford" it? Call me.
Don't want to let go of that grudge but feel it is beginning to "ruin" your life? Call me.

With my toolbox of emotional skills including; imagined feelings, sense of entitlement, anger, denial, projection and self-righteousness, I will be able to talk you down from the metaphorical ledge of making a "good" choice.

Want proof that I am as good as I claim...just know that as I type I can count at least 16 things I should be doing but I'm not! And do I feel guilty about it? Absolutely not!

This skill-set and coaching does not come cheap, in fact it is very, very expensive....but it will be worth it when you wear that new shirt to a girl's night out while your husband takes the kids to his family party and the newly hired housekeeper scrubs the toilet.

Back-To-School Season

I love "Back-To-School" Season! I love the smell of crayons and paper. I love the freshness of it all. I love the excuse to buy new clothes and shoes. I love settling back into a routine. I love all my favorite TV shows coming back. I love how "my" kids still find my jokes funny. I LOVE hearing the funny things the kids say! Please to enjoy:

Little Girl: Upon arriving the first day and seeing the other kids in class she pointed to a little boy and said, "I hate him." (What? You just saw him!!)

Little Boy: "Can we have pan fried noodles for snack today?...No?...Can we have them tomorrow?"

Little Boy: "Why do you have a upstairs?"
Miss Dawn: "Because I have to have a place to eat dinner and go to bed?"
Little Boy: "Why?"
Miss Dawn: "Because I don't live in here."
Little Boy: "Um....I think you do."

Little Girl: "OOH! Miss Dawn, I just want to keep you forever!"